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Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Saturday, September 10, 2022

Best Viral Comedy Compilation New -18 Best Funny Comedy

Sunday, July 3, 2022

Best Viral Comedy Compilation New -13 Best Funny Comedy

Saturday, June 11, 2022

Best Viral Comedy Compilation New - 10 Funny Comedy

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Best Viral Comedy Compilation New 6 Funny Comedy

Saturday, April 9, 2022

BEST VIRAL COMEDY COMPILATION FUNNY NEW 1

Saturday, March 26, 2022

ENJOY LAUGH BEST VIRAL COMEDY COMPILATION VIII FUNNY I ਵਾਇਰਲ ਕਾਮੇਡੀ, ਥੋ...

Sunday, January 16, 2022

ENJOY LAUGH BEST VIRAL COMEDY COMPILATION II

Sunday, December 5, 2021

VIRAL COMEDY HAT KE II - LAUGHING MOMENTS

Sunday, May 30, 2021

Jokes and Chutkule for making Sagittarius laugh

Jokes and  Chutkule for Making Sagittarius Laugh




Wife to Husband: Why are you Home So Early?
Husband: My Boss told me to go Hell....//

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Jugli: Why is Prime Minister not seen in the morning?
Shugli: Because he is PM not AM

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher – is sentense ko

english mein translatai karo ,,

“basant ne mujhe mukka maara ”

bachcha – basant panchami

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher : who is Tipu Sultan?
Pappu : I dont know miss..! :s

Teacher : Concentrate on your studies..!

Pappu : Do yew know Jennifer?

Teacher : i dont know..! :s

Pappu : Concentrate on your husband..!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Once a doctor with knife in hand was running behind a patient…
People asked: what happend Doctor?

Doctor: Its 4th time he came for brain operation,
and after hair cut he ran away…

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Wife: I hate that beggar.. 😡
Husband: Why?

Wife: That Rascal, yesterday I gave him food, today he gave me a book called…

“How to Cook”!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$


A Man with Gun goes in bank & demands….

Once he is given money,
he turns to a lady & asks: ‘Did you see me rob the bank?

Lady : ‘Yes, I did’.

Robber shot her in the head.

Then He turned to a couple & asked the man: ‘Did you see me rob d bank?’

Man said ‘No sir, but my wife did…

Clever hubby, LOL 😀

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

I was in the bar yesterday when i suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really really loud, so i timed my Farts with the beats.

After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then i suddenly remembered that i was listening to my iPod.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10.
Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Teacher : Where is 5?

Student : Yesterday I heard in the news
that 5 died in a car accident…..

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$


There are two theories on arguing with a girl (Wife)!
If the girl is right,
Be fair to her & keep quiet.

If the girl is wrong,
Be fair to yourself & keep quiet.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher bachche ka lunch kha gaya.
Teacher: Beta ghar jaa kar mera naam to nahi bataoge?

Bachcha masoomiat se: Main mummy se kahunga ke meri roti kutta kha gaya!!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$


Signal pe car ruki tu aik faqeer mangane agya car mai bethi aurat boli

"Tumhari shakal kuch jaani pehchani lag rahi hai"

Faqeer bola " MADAM WE ARE FRIEND ON FACEBOOK"

Saints, why do you keep only married people in your office?

Boss– Because they get used to being insulted and do not even go home.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Child – Mummy Do I look like God? Mother – no son, but why are you asking such a thing? Child – Mummy, wherever I go, everyone says that Lord, he came again.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Boy – I Love you
Girl – Are you crazy
I am married
My husband is
And
There is also a boyfriend in the office,
And
My ex-boyfriend lives in my neighbourhood,
And
Tomorrow my boss has proposed
And
I can not refuse them …
And
Anyway my school friend
Serious mater with.

Boy – (after watching late)
See if there is any adjustment then.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Saturday, May 8, 2021

MAST HI MAST JOKES, CHUTKULE

  MAST HI MAST JOKES, CHUTKULE





Ek Bap beti se kaha: Pehle to tum mujhko papa kahte the ab dady kuyn kahte hoo, Kiya wajah hai ? 
Beti Bap se kaha: Papa kehne se mera lipstick jo kharab hoo jati hai!

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Full Form of Class

C - COME 
L - LATE 
A - AND 
S - START 
S - SLEEPING

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santa:- yaar bahut raat ho gayi hai aaj raat yahin so jao subaha chale jana 
banta:- theek hai yaar fir main ghar se apna night-suit le ata hoon..... 
$ha ha ha ha ha$

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Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?


Her: Awww... Yes!!!


Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me

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Ek pati apni patni ko roase ek glass pani de kar jagata tha . ek din uske dost ne pucha ki tu asa kyu kar ta hai to usne kha ki mere sasur ne shadi ke din kaha tha ki meri bati fuul ki tarah rakha hai use murjhane mat dena bas usi din se ma aiisa karta hu.........

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RAMU Ne SHAMU SE pucha: Aakkal bari ya Bhains? 
SHAMU confused ho gaya & then after sometime replied: Tu mujhko ullu samjte ho kya? Janamdin to bataya hi nahi. …!!

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A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. 
Boy: Why do you look so fat? 
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. 
Boy: Is it a good baby? 
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. 
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

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santa-- yaar ans sheet pe sabse pehle kya likhu? 
banta-- yahi ke iss sheet par likhe ans kalpnik hai, inka kisi bhi book se koi samband nahi hai.

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Teacher: How much is a gram?


Tony: Uhmm, depends on what you need

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I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

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Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

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Full Form of Girl

g = ghost 

i = in 

r = real 

l = life

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" 
Boss: "Certainly not!" 

Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

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Pappu 2 Dukandaar: Is mirror ki kya guarantee hai? 
Dukandaar: Aap iss ko 100 floor se nechay girao, mirror 99 floor tak nahi toote ga. 
Pappu: Wah bahut badhiya, pack kar do!

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Marriage Propose Joke
Pappu & Chandni ek restaurant pe: 
Pappu: Maine last bar puch raha hoon, tum mujhse shadi karogi? 
Chandni: Nahi! 
Pappu: Soch lo! 
Chandni: Keh diya na nahi, 
Pappu: Waiter bill alag alag lana

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Meri Kom Ke Bahadur Jwano Utho,Kab Tak Tumlok bethe Raho Ge? 
Kam Par Ye Wakt bahot bhari Hai,Utho Jaldi Karo, 
Jootey Chapal Sab Chorr Do 

TUFAN STORE Pr cheeni Aa Gai Hey

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"Sarkari school ke Bachay kisi ko ghaseet kar lay ja rahay the.. 
Path mein ek Bujurg ny kaha: Baccho! 
Ladkay ko chor do ye khud school chala jaye ga.. 
Bachay jor se bole: 
Babu ji ye shagird nahi, hamara ustad hai, 
roz school se bhaag jata hai" 

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Pappu aur Santa
Pappu: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna! 
Santa sitting with his dog in the theater, “Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket jo liya hai.”

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Jaban bohut kuch sikhati hai, 
Kabhi hashati hay kabhi rulaty hay 
Khud se bhi jyada kisi par vishhwash mat karna, 
Kyuki andhere mein toh parchai bhi saath chhor jati hai. 

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ek baar santa ne banta se puchha ki 
tumhe gadha ki full form ati hai? 
banta: nahi! tum bata do 
santa: are g-good a-active d-dutiful h-handsum a-all in one. lekin ha ek bat yaad rakhna ye tumhare liye nahi mere liye hai. tumhare liye to gadha ke full form gadha hi hai. 

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Hindi Joke in English
Pappu : Aaj maine apne class ki sabse pyari larki ko phasa li.. 
Sohan : Woh kaisey? 
Pappu:class lagi thi.. Maine kagaz ka jahaz bana ke Pheinka. Jahaz teacher ke pass chala gaya. Us ne gussey se poocha yeh kiss ne pheinka? Maine us larki ka nam le liya or woh phas gaye bichari.

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Pappu Crazy Joke
Pappu ek baar bataya tha mujh ko,Barasti barish se ishq hai usko,Aur uska ishq pane ke liye,Yeh aankhe har din barasti hai.
By (anonymous)

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Son: "Dad, there is a big hole in my shoe."
Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot"

Papa-daughter, what will you do to get big? 
Daughter- Marriage ... Papa- 
Wrong thing ... do not think anybody's bad from now ...!

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Bap:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773. 
Beta:Thank God I was born after that .Pehle Paida hota to mar hi jata .
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Sabu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 10 butter naan kha liye. 
Kuch der bad toilet mein pet pakar ke ro raha tha or bhagwan se request kar raha ki, 
“He Bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

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Pappu bada dukhi tha! 
Ek dost ne uss se poocha, “Kyu, tension mein ho?” 
Pappu: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 3 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab sale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!

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Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai! 
Manik: Mujhe uska naam pata hai. 
Rubel: Kya naam hai uska? 
Manik: Wo ek Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

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RAMU to SHAMU: Agar tum batao ki is thele ke andar kya hai, toh saare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai to wo murgi bhi tumari. 
SHAMU: Liton ji, koi hints toh do na plz?

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Santa Aur Banta ladh rahe hote hai ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat 
Santa: abhi din ho raha hai. 
Banta: abhi raat ho rahi hai 
rastey mein ek aadmi ja raha hota hai 
Santa: Chal hum isi se puch lete hai ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat. 
Banta admi se puchta hai: bhaiya hume bata do ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat ?? 
admi: bhai mujhe toh patani kyoki mein toh abhi naya naya aaya hu is desh mein 
he he he he :-) 

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*Love b4 Marriage* 
Janu...tum nahe to mei nahe, 
mei nahe to tum nahe... 

*Love after Marriage* 
"Ruk Ja"...Aj tu nahi ya me nahi

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Raat ka samay tha, pappu kabristan se cycle chalata hua aaya 
kabristan paar krke kaha baap re kaise road thi itne saare speed breakers!!!!!!

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techer:Papu tere papa kitne sal ke hai 
Papu:teacher mre papa 11 years ke hai 
teacher: kaise tu 11 yers ka hai to tere papa tujh se bare hoge na 
Papu:ha...... 
teacher:to tu bol raha hai ke 11 yers ke hai 
Papu:teacher mai jab janma tha tabhi to vo papa bane 

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Rubel Kaun Banega Crorepati Main: 
Question: What is you father name? 
Rubel: Plz Options? 
a. Dilawar 
b. Changez 
c. Feroz 
d. Sultan 
Rubel: Life line-50/50 
a. Dilawar 
c. Feroze 
Pathan: Audience Vote. 
75% Dilawar 
25% Feroze 
Rubel: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.” 
Kisse call karengy? 
Rubel: Apne baap dilawar ko! 

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ek car main ek ladki ja rahi thi tabi uski gadi band pad gai vo car bahar aa kar idhar udher dekne lagi tabi ek aadmi vaha se gujra aur bola kya tum muje kiss karogi to 
ladki ne bola aaj mera brat hai 
to aadmi bola k kya mere muh main aata laga hua h jo tumhara bart tut jayega

Monday, October 14, 2019

Simple steps of Happiness and Hormones source of Happiness

Simple steps of Happiness and Hormones source of Happiness

       



Each one of us is doing so many things in life. If we all ask a question, what for? The final answer would be happiness. Where is Happiness? Is it internal or external..? . When a joke was cracked in a meeting, few laughed, others reacted differently. If happiness is external, then everyone should have reacted uniformly. So it indicates that happiness is internal. Some of the things what we do internally bring happiness for us.

What is Happiness?

Today everyone wants to live happily. From where this happiness is coming is the big question in everyone’s mind. Happiness is a feeling from the Heart. Many people pose as though they are very happy. But the truth is that they are in search of happiness only.
How is happiness measured & Where are we now?

As per the world’s Happiness Report 2019, released by The United Nations Sustainable Development Solutions Network, which ranks the world’s 156 countries on “how happy their citizens perceive themselves to be”, India is ranked at number 140. This shows how unhappy our citizens are. The citizens of our neighbouring countries like Nepal, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Bhutan, which are economically backward when compared to us, are much happier than us.

Existing Belief about Happiness

Some people feel that they have enough money they will be happy, while others think that if all their needs like house, food, dresses and Jewellery are there then they will be happy. But this is not true, and these material things do not give happiness.
Where is Happiness..?
Let us analyze it scientifically and find out how we can create environments which will make us and keep us happy.
Happiness is not only a state of feeling but depends on certain changes in our body. Certain bio chemical processes and hormones that are released in our body and the neurotransmitters determine and trigger our state of happiness. These hormones are naturally secreted in our body and when it is not secreted naturally it can be supplemented by oral intake also in the form of medicines.
But when it is created naturally in our body there are no side effects but when taken as a medicine it may lead to some side effects.

Secrets of Happiness

To enable natural secretion of such hormones we must change our way and method of living in order to help our body to secrete them naturally.


Hormones which are source of Happiness:

a) Endorphins,
b) Dopamine,
c) Serotonin,
d) Oxytocin

These hormones, neurotransmitters and bio chemical processes are mainly responsible for the state of happiness of a person.

Source of Endorphin:

Endorphin is released when you
a) do exercise,
b) are laughing.
Endorphin sets off a brief euphoria that masks physical pain.
Other Sources of Endorphin:
When you
a) eat a chocolate
b) experience a good smell / fragrance
Effects of absence of Endorphin:
Deficiency of Endorphin causes
a) head ache,
b) back ache,
c) neck pain
d) loneliness feeling even when you are in a crowd.

Source of Dopamine:

Dopamine is released when you
a) Achieve your goal. That is why it is always said that one should have a goal to reach in one’s life, which will give happiness
b) help others without any expectations
c) are praised by others
d) impulsive help to others.

Other Sources of Dopamine:

Avocado, broccoli, tomato and Protein rich foods have good content of dopamine in them.

Effects of absence of Dopamine:

A dopamine deficiency causes
c) Parkinson’s disease
d) will stop breast feeding milk
e) will instigate a wavering mind
f) will not allow a person to take a clear decision on anything..
Source of Serotonin
Serotonin is released when we
a) Have positive thoughts,
b) relive our past happy moments,
c) are acting or feeling self-confident,
d) are helping others,
e) feel safe and secure.
Other Sources of Serotonin: :
Sunlight and brightly lit places help to secrete serotonin. Cheese, egg, pineapple, salmon fish, potato, bread and dhal are all rich in serotonin.

Effects of absence of Serotonin: Shortage of serotonin causes
a) sad & depressed mood, b) low energy, c) negative thoughts, d) feel tense and irritable, e) crave for sweets, f) Anxiety

Source of Oxytocin:

Oxytocin hormone is a love hormone. Pregnant ladies, feeding mothers will have good secretion of this hormone. The hormone is released, when you

a) touch your life partner or your children
b) speak with them
c) have full belief and trust in other person say between husband and wife, between two friends when they shake hands or hug each other this hormone will be released.
d) have oil bath,
e) do massage,
f) bringing up a pet animal.
Other Source of Oxytocin
Banana, egg, pepper is rich in this hormone.
Effects of absence of Oxtlocin: Shortage of Oxytocin causes a) stoppage of milk-ejection reflex and prevent breastfeeding. b) autism and autistic spectrum disorders (e.g. Asperger syndrome) c) depressive symptoms

Conclusion

To increase our happiness and to lead a happy life, one must analyze and learn the method of triggering the release of these happy hormones, bio chemical process and neuro transmitters in our body. This will help people to live happily in a scientific way

Saturday, May 25, 2019

JOKES- CHUTKULE- KHUSH HO JAYO JI- MUSKARAO JI

JOKES- CHUTKULE- KHUSH HO JAYO JI- MUSKARAO JI

Wah... GG......Wah....

 A Foreign lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…!

Santa ke lips jale hue the
Banta: Kaise jale
Santa: Wife ko railway station drop karne gaya tha.
Banta: To?
Santa: Khushi ke mare, Train ke engine ko choom liya !!!


Doctor: iss dawaa ko ek hafte mein poora karo aur baad me aake milo.
Patient: theek hai doctor
(ek hafte ke baad)
Doctor: dawaa poori kha li thi?
Patient: nahi doctor.
Doctor: kyu nahi?
Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha band rakhein!

Teacher- jo mere sawal ka sahi jawab dega wo ghar ja sakta hai.
Ussi waqt santa ne apna bag bahar fek diya.
Teacher- wo bag kisne feka?
Santa- maine..ab main ghar jau!!
Teacher Santa se: Explain ‘Dahi’ in English
Santa:
Milk sleeping in the night,
and sawere sawere tight!!


Gabbar: Yeh hath mujhe de de thakur…
Thakur:
Le Le, mere hath le le
Basanti ke bhi le le…
Jai aur Veeru ke bhi le le…
Ramu kaka ke bhi le le…
Octopus ban ja Kutteee!!
Gabbar: Sorry yaar, tu to Emotional ho gaya


Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai.
Wah wah…
Sita ji k vanvaas jaane mein bahut badi seekh hai..
arey aage to kaho….
Ghar me 3-3 saas ho to jungle hi theek hai!!!

Santa: Aap mujhe sanskrit seekha do,
Pandit: kyun?
Santa: Devtaao ki bhasha hai, Swarg mein jaroorat padegi
Pandit: Agar nark gaye to?
Santa: Punjabi to aati hi hai…

Santa aur Banta 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye
Santa: Chal Suicide kar le
Banta: Saale, Pagal Ho Gaya Hai ??
Agle janam Fir NURSERY se shuru karna padega?

Platform par dher saara samaan liye khadi ek aurat se coolie ne puchha:
Madam, Coolie chahiye?
Aurat ne badi vinamrata ke sath jawab diya:
Nahin bhaiya, Mere pati mere saath hain!!

Husband: Meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
Wife: Ok.
After 10 minutes
Husband: Meri shirt press ki?
Wife: Nahi…
Husband: Kyun?
Wife: Ulti nahin aa rahi hai!

Pati: Priye, Kya tum mere sath Yoga Class chalna pasand karogi?
Patni: Tum kehna kya chahte ho, main kya moti ho gayi hoon?
Pati: Koi baat nahin, Ichcha nahi hai to mat chalo.
Patni: Matlab main aalsi hoon?
Pati: Arey tum gussa kyun kar rahi ho?
Patni: Matlab main hamesha jhagadti hoon!
Pati: arey maine aisa kab bola?
Patni: Matlab ki main jhoothi hoon!
Pati: achcha baba, Main nahin jaata hoon!
Patni: Main sab samajthi hoon, Darasal, tum le jana hi nahin chahte the…
Pati ne chup rehne mein bhalaayi samjhi aur phir so gaya!

Wife ambulance ko 108 per call karti hai.
Operator: Aapko kya samasya hai?
Wife: Mere pair ki ungli coffee table se takra gayi hai.
Operator: haste hue aur iske liye aap ambulance bulana chahati hain.
Wife: Nahi, ambulance to mere pati ke liye hai, use hasna nahi chahiye tha naa..


Biwi ko samjhna matlab:
32 GB ka koi ek Video
2G network par download karna..
aur 31.95 GB download
hone ke baad….
Aakhir mein error dikhnaa!!!
means…. Impossible!!!

Bhari Sardi mein Biwi Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli To Uska Pati Use Ghoor Raha Tha!
Biwi Romantic Hokar Boli: Kya Iraada Hai?
Pati Ne 2 Thappad Maare aur Bola “Mere Garam Pani Se Kyu Nahayi”

Apna Baccha roye, toh dil me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ka roye, toh sir me!
Apni Biwi roye, toh sir me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ki roye, toh dil me!
Sab prabhu ki maya hai! 

Wife: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu.
Husband: Nahi.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main “hanuman chalisa” padh kar sota hun!

Wife:
Agar meri shaadi kisi ‘Raakshas’ se bhi ho jaati
to bhi main itni pareshan nahin hoti,
jitni main tumhare saath hoon!
Husband:
Arrey pagli, Blood relation mein shaadiya kaha hoti hai?
Wife trolled!

Assistant: “Sir, Aap Office Mein Shadi-Shuda Aadmiyon Ko Hi Kyu Rakhte Ho?”
Boss: “Kyunki Unhe Beizzati Sehne Ki Aadat Hoti Hai Aur Ghar Jane Ki Jaldi Bhi Nahi Hoti”

Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai
Wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko
“Abe Gadhe” aur
“Oye Gadhe” ya
“Sun Gadhe”
nahi bolti
Isliye wo short me
“A.G. / O.G./ Suno G” Kehti hain..

Shaadi ki function chal raha tha..
Pati apni patni ke sath waha pahuncha,
Thodi der baad patni ne dekha ki wo kisi mahila se hans-hans kar baat kar raha hai..
Patni ne paas aakar kaha: Main ghar pahunch kar, tumhari Garam paani ki sikaayi kar ke Iodex laga dungi!!
Pati: Par mujhe chot kaha lagi hai?
Patni: Abhi hum ghar bhi kaha pahunche hain? 🙂


“Apni khud ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra badha sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare
“Apni biwi ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra Ghata bhi sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare ki Biwi

A man came home late at night after a party.
His Wife yelled:how would you feel if you don’t see me for two days?
The man couldnt believe his luck, “That Would Be Great” he said.
Monday Passed And He Didnt See Her!
Tuesday And Wednesday Passed Too !!
On Thursday his Swelling became Better
And Now He Could See Her From The
Corner Of One Eye……

Sir: Define Energy?
Santa: Sir pura nai aata hain, thoda last ka pata hain, bas.
Sir: Thik hain, jitna aata hain utna bolo.
Santa: “and this is called Energy……”

Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..
“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”
Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”
Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!
Pati: Aaj khane me kya banaogi?
Biwi: Jo tum kaho…
Pati: Daal chawal banao
Biwi: Abhi kal hi to khaye the
Pati: To sabji bana lo
Biwi: Bahcche nahi khate
Pati: fir keema?
Biwi: mujhe allergy hai
Pati: Parantha?
Biwi: Raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai?
Pati: Kadhi?
Biwi: Dahi nahi hai
Pati: Fir kya banaogi?
Biwi: JO TUM KAHO! 


Young Boy:
After 70 years, you still address your wife as Darling, Love, Honey!
Whats the secret?
Old man:
Her name slipped from my mind 10 years ago!
And i’m scared to ask, what it is?

Harr Biwi Ki Dua
Ya Khuda Mere shohar Ko
Tarakki De
Dolat de
Bangla De
Mujhe Kuchh Nahi Chahiye..
Tu Sab Mere shohar Ko de
BAKi….
Unse lena mera kaam hai 😀

Pati Patni Mein Zabardast Jhagra Ho Raha Tha,
Patni: Kash Main Apni Mom KiBaat Maan Leti Aur Tum Se Shadi Na Karti
Pati: Kya Matlab? Tumhari Maa Ne Mujh Se Shadi Karne Ko Mana Kiya Tha?
Patni: Haan, Bahut Baar…
Pati Rote Hue Bola: Hey Bhagwan, Main Aaj Tak Uss Nek Aurat Ko Kitna Bura Samjhta Raha Jisne Mujhe Bachana Chaha…

The time taken by a wife when she says I’ll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says ‘I’ll call u in 5 min!

Husband (calls up Hotel Manager from room):

Please come fast,
I am having an argument with my wife &
she says she will jump from your hotel window.

Manager:
Sir, I am sorry,
but this is your personal Issue.

Husband:
Abey Saale! The window is not opening.
This is a maintenance issue ..!! 


Wife: Agar Me Kho Jau, To Tum Kya Karoge?

Husband: Me Nirmal Baba Ke Paas Jaunga.

Wife: Tum Baba Se Kya Kahoge?

Husband: Baba Kirpa Honi Shuru Ho Gayi Hai.