MAST HI MAST JOKES, CHUTKULE

Ek Bap beti se kaha: Pehle to tum mujhko papa kahte the ab dady kuyn kahte hoo, Kiya wajah hai ?

Beti Bap se kaha: Papa kehne se mera lipstick jo kharab hoo jati hai!

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Full Form of Class

C - COME

L - LATE

A - AND

S - START

S - SLEEPING

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santa:- yaar bahut raat ho gayi hai aaj raat yahin so jao subaha chale jana

banta:- theek hai yaar fir main ghar se apna night-suit le ata hoon.....

$ha ha ha ha ha$

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Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me

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Ek pati apni patni ko roase ek glass pani de kar jagata tha . ek din uske dost ne pucha ki tu asa kyu kar ta hai to usne kha ki mere sasur ne shadi ke din kaha tha ki meri bati fuul ki tarah rakha hai use murjhane mat dena bas usi din se ma aiisa karta hu.........

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RAMU Ne SHAMU SE pucha: Aakkal bari ya Bhains?

SHAMU confused ho gaya & then after sometime replied: Tu mujhko ullu samjte ho kya? Janamdin to bataya hi nahi. …!!

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A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.

Boy: Why do you look so fat?

Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.

Boy: Is it a good baby?

Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.

Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

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santa-- yaar ans sheet pe sabse pehle kya likhu?

banta-- yahi ke iss sheet par likhe ans kalpnik hai, inka kisi bhi book se koi samband nahi hai.

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Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tony: Uhmm, depends on what you need

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I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey! The sign says you're open 24 hours." He Said, "Yes, but not in a row!"

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Boy: The principal is so dumb!

Girl: Do you know who I am?

Boy: No...

Girl: I am the principal's daughter!

Boy: Do you know who I am?

Girl: No...

Boy: Good! *Walks away*

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A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

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Full Form of Girl

g = ghost

i = in

r = real

l = life

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"

Boss: "Certainly not!"

Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

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Pappu 2 Dukandaar: Is mirror ki kya guarantee hai?

Dukandaar: Aap iss ko 100 floor se nechay girao, mirror 99 floor tak nahi toote ga.

Pappu: Wah bahut badhiya, pack kar do!

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Marriage Propose Joke

Pappu & Chandni ek restaurant pe:

Pappu: Maine last bar puch raha hoon, tum mujhse shadi karogi?

Chandni: Nahi!

Pappu: Soch lo!

Chandni: Keh diya na nahi,

Pappu: Waiter bill alag alag lana

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Meri Kom Ke Bahadur Jwano Utho,Kab Tak Tumlok bethe Raho Ge?

Kam Par Ye Wakt bahot bhari Hai,Utho Jaldi Karo,

Jootey Chapal Sab Chorr Do

TUFAN STORE Pr cheeni Aa Gai Hey

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"Sarkari school ke Bachay kisi ko ghaseet kar lay ja rahay the..

Path mein ek Bujurg ny kaha: Baccho!

Ladkay ko chor do ye khud school chala jaye ga..

Bachay jor se bole:

Babu ji ye shagird nahi, hamara ustad hai,

roz school se bhaag jata hai"

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Pappu aur Santa

Pappu: Basanti in kutton ke aage mat naachna!

Santa sitting with his dog in the theater, “Saali naachegi kaise nahi, kutte ka bhi ticket jo liya hai.”

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Jaban bohut kuch sikhati hai,

Kabhi hashati hay kabhi rulaty hay

Khud se bhi jyada kisi par vishhwash mat karna,

Kyuki andhere mein toh parchai bhi saath chhor jati hai.

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ek baar santa ne banta se puchha ki

tumhe gadha ki full form ati hai?

banta: nahi! tum bata do

santa: are g-good a-active d-dutiful h-handsum a-all in one. lekin ha ek bat yaad rakhna ye tumhare liye nahi mere liye hai. tumhare liye to gadha ke full form gadha hi hai.

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Hindi Joke in English

Pappu : Aaj maine apne class ki sabse pyari larki ko phasa li..

Sohan : Woh kaisey?

Pappu:class lagi thi.. Maine kagaz ka jahaz bana ke Pheinka. Jahaz teacher ke pass chala gaya. Us ne gussey se poocha yeh kiss ne pheinka? Maine us larki ka nam le liya or woh phas gaye bichari.

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Pappu Crazy Joke

Pappu ek baar bataya tha mujh ko,Barasti barish se ishq hai usko,Aur uska ishq pane ke liye,Yeh aankhe har din barasti hai.

By (anonymous)

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Son: "Dad, there is a big hole in my shoe."

Dad: "Yes, Ben, that's where you put your foot"

Papa-daughter, what will you do to get big?

Daughter- Marriage ... Papa-

Wrong thing ... do not think anybody's bad from now ...!

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Bap:Oxygen is must for Breathing . It was discovered in 1773.

Beta:Thank God I was born after that .Pehle Paida hota to mar hi jata .

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Sabu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 10 butter naan kha liye.

Kuch der bad toilet mein pet pakar ke ro raha tha or bhagwan se request kar raha ki,

“He Bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

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Pappu bada dukhi tha!

Ek dost ne uss se poocha, “Kyu, tension mein ho?”

Pappu: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 3 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab sale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!

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Rubel: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

Manik: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.

Rubel: Kya naam hai uska?

Manik: Wo ek Bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”

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RAMU to SHAMU: Agar tum batao ki is thele ke andar kya hai, toh saare eggs tumare, agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hai to wo murgi bhi tumari.

SHAMU: Liton ji, koi hints toh do na plz?

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Santa Aur Banta ladh rahe hote hai ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat

Santa: abhi din ho raha hai.

Banta: abhi raat ho rahi hai

rastey mein ek aadmi ja raha hota hai

Santa: Chal hum isi se puch lete hai ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat.

Banta admi se puchta hai: bhaiya hume bata do ki abhi din ho raha hai ya raat ??

admi: bhai mujhe toh patani kyoki mein toh abhi naya naya aaya hu is desh mein

he he he he :-)

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*Love b4 Marriage*

Janu...tum nahe to mei nahe,

mei nahe to tum nahe...

*Love after Marriage*

"Ruk Ja"...Aj tu nahi ya me nahi

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Raat ka samay tha, pappu kabristan se cycle chalata hua aaya

kabristan paar krke kaha baap re kaise road thi itne saare speed breakers!!!!!!

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techer:Papu tere papa kitne sal ke hai

Papu:teacher mre papa 11 years ke hai

teacher: kaise tu 11 yers ka hai to tere papa tujh se bare hoge na

Papu:ha......

teacher:to tu bol raha hai ke 11 yers ke hai

Papu:teacher mai jab janma tha tabhi to vo papa bane

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Rubel Kaun Banega Crorepati Main:

Question: What is you father name?

Rubel: Plz Options?

a. Dilawar

b. Changez

c. Feroz

d. Sultan

Rubel: Life line-50/50

a. Dilawar

c. Feroze

Pathan: Audience Vote.

75% Dilawar

25% Feroze

Rubel: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”

Kisse call karengy?

Rubel: Apne baap dilawar ko!

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ek car main ek ladki ja rahi thi tabi uski gadi band pad gai vo car bahar aa kar idhar udher dekne lagi tabi ek aadmi vaha se gujra aur bola kya tum muje kiss karogi to

ladki ne bola aaj mera brat hai

to aadmi bola k kya mere muh main aata laga hua h jo tumhara bart tut jayega