Jokes and Chutkule for making Sagittarius laugh

Jokes and  Chutkule for Making Sagittarius Laugh

Wife to Husband: Why are you Home So Early?

Husband: My Boss told me to go Hell....//

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Jugli: Why is Prime Minister not seen in the morning?

Shugli: Because he is PM not AM

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher – is sentense ko

english mein translatai karo ,,

“basant ne mujhe mukka maara ”

bachcha – basant panchami

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher : who is Tipu Sultan?

Pappu : I dont know miss..! :s

Teacher : Concentrate on your studies..!

Pappu : Do yew know Jennifer?

Teacher : i dont know..! :s

Pappu : Concentrate on your husband..!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Once a doctor with knife in hand was running behind a patient…

People asked: what happend Doctor?

Doctor: Its 4th time he came for brain operation,

and after hair cut he ran away…

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Wife: I hate that beggar.. 😡

Husband: Why?

Wife: That Rascal, yesterday I gave him food, today he gave me a book called…

“How to Cook”!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

A Man with Gun goes in bank & demands….

Once he is given money,

he turns to a lady & asks: ‘Did you see me rob the bank?

Lady : ‘Yes, I did’.

Robber shot her in the head.

Then He turned to a couple & asked the man: ‘Did you see me rob d bank?’

Man said ‘No sir, but my wife did…

Clever hubby, LOL 😀

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

I was in the bar yesterday when i suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.

The music was really really loud, so i timed my Farts with the beats.

After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my beer and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then i suddenly remembered that i was listening to my iPod.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10.

Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Teacher : Where is 5?

Student : Yesterday I heard in the news

that 5 died in a car accident…..

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

There are two theories on arguing with a girl (Wife)!

If the girl is right,

Be fair to her & keep quiet.

If the girl is wrong,

Be fair to yourself & keep quiet.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Teacher bachche ka lunch kha gaya.

Teacher: Beta ghar jaa kar mera naam to nahi bataoge?

Bachcha masoomiat se: Main mummy se kahunga ke meri roti kutta kha gaya!!

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Signal pe car ruki tu aik faqeer mangane agya car mai bethi aurat boli

"Tumhari shakal kuch jaani pehchani lag rahi hai"

Faqeer bola " MADAM WE ARE FRIEND ON FACEBOOK"

Saints, why do you keep only married people in your office?

Boss– Because they get used to being insulted and do not even go home.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Child – Mummy Do I look like God? Mother – no son, but why are you asking such a thing? Child – Mummy, wherever I go, everyone says that Lord, he came again.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$

Boy – I Love you

Girl – Are you crazy

I am married

My husband is

And

There is also a boyfriend in the office,

And

My ex-boyfriend lives in my neighbourhood,

And

Tomorrow my boss has proposed

And

I can not refuse them …

And

Anyway my school friend

Serious mater with.

Boy – (after watching late)

See if there is any adjustment then.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$